Saturday, May 09, 2015

What's on tv

This coming week we will see the opening of the Cannes Film Festival, a pretty ritzy event on the Côte d'Azur filled with glitz, glamor, and glory. And there will be plenty of television coverage. I will be watching tennis (the men's tournament in Rome).

Look! I could win a VIP evening at the Cannes Festival! Enter now!

What not to watch this week. Our tv magazine rates shows and movies using a star system: one star is ok, four stars is best. They use another symbol for really bad movies: the red dot. It means "à zapper" (change the channel!). The editors often include comments about the movie that make me laugh.

This evening we have une soirée spéciale (a special evening) with two bad movies about giant snakes. Anacondas, to be specific. Both movies get the red dot, so don't feel bad about missing them -- in fact, the editors' advice is to miss them entirely.

Anaconda, le prédateur (Anaconda). American/Brazilian/Peruvian horror film. Directed by Luis Llosa, 1997.
With Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, and Ice Cube.
A television crew is attacked by a giant snake in the Amazonian rain forest.
This film plumbs the very depths of ridiculousness and can only be regarded as farce. Jon Voight gets the prize for the most cringe-worthy performance. A flop that doesn't realize it's a flop.
For adults and children over ten.

3 comments:

  1. Jon Voight: I used to like him when he was just an actor in some good movies or TV shows but not these days as far as his political views are concerned :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't buy TV magazine but check TV programme on the internet

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have heard of the Cannes Film Festival; apparently it is a 'big thing' in movies for films like to flaunt they were at this festival.

    ReplyDelete

Pour your heart out! I'm listening.